More cutting.

Yesterday I went under a general anesthetic, and it was scary!  I have only ever been under a general twice in my life and both times I ended up admitted to hospital.  Both times were suppose to be day surgery only.  I don't come out of them well, so yesterday had me feeling some anxiety and panic.  Thankfully, I came out of this one incredibly well and was home in time for dinner and bed.  Today has me in a great deal of discomfort, some nausea and feeling like utter crap.  Tomorrow will see me home from work, and I finally have a boss that understands and sympathises so is not at all put out over this surgery and the after effects.

Usually a surgery such as this one can be done under a local anesthetic, but because they were going to be cutting quite deep inside the virginal wall it was not advisable and could've gone wrong.  As it was, they couldn't take margins due to where they were cutting, and if the biopsy comes back Cancerous then it will have me seeing specialists to see what can be done.  I never thought Skin Cancer could see me end up in a Gynecologist clinic.  I never knew how deadly it could be either, so I guess I am still on the learning path with this Melanoma of mine.  I don't think the learning ever stops.

And why is it under the Skin Cancer category?  No other Skin Cancer can travel to your organs and only Melanoma can grow without the aid of skin, and at an alarmingly fast speed.  Melanoma is the rarest form of Skin Cancer yet the deadliest so why does the Black C belong in this category?  It doesn't.  It belongs to none.  It is a disease like no other and should be treated as such.

I wish I had known just how dangerous this horrifying beast is.  I wish I had never become so intimate with it.  I am one of the lucky ones.  With all the scars, surgeries, hospital visits  and checkups I am still going strong.  And I have a good chance of continuing the battle for an incredibly long time.  I have allowed myself to care about fellow Melanoma warriors, and I have mourned the loss of courageous victims of this killer disease.  It is not only heartbreaking when you hear about fellow warriors losing their battles, but it is scary.  The fear invades me as it is the same disease that is currently being fought by myself.  It is personal, and it is terrifying.